Have you ever seen your parents fight?
I know, it's the last thing you want to witness...
This is a deep topic. You don’t have to answer this question.
But if you are reading this email, you’ve most likely seen some level of domestic or verbal violence in some or the other manner.
Very few, very few households exist where trauma isn’t inflicted on kids.
That is the primary reason millennials and Gen Z want to run away from their parents. Not because they don’t love them, not because they don’t need them - rather only because this new generation has to do dual responsibilities:
Of having a career their parents don’t understand, and
Of understanding their parents who neither understand themselves nor their kids.
So the kids, after trying in vain for several years, want to give up on Part 2 and just want to focus on Part 1. Of course, that is something they can control in entirety.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls (damn! I reminded you of the good old times when we used to travel…lol), if you belong to such household, and the “work from home” phenomenon is being extended infinitely, this is what you can learn and do:
Learn to heal yourself psychologically. By meditation, by writing in your notebook, by going for nature walks, by prayer, by talking with God, by anything that allows you to transform your loneliness into solitude. If you are stumbling, how will anyone be able to help you run faster?
Forgive them. We grew up seeing and seeking independence. That independent thinking gave us the courage to speak up against the limiting thinking to morph into what we wanted to. But guess what? Our parents were raised by people who had witnessed partition firsthand. Too much blood, too much anger, and struggling day and night to make ends meet. Could you even imagine what kind of upbringing those people could give who perhaps had to re-invent their way of earning bread?
Be strict: That said, some norms are norms. You can be strict like: “You guys love desserts, right, so the next time you both feel like quarelling, put a (virtual) gulab jamun in your mouth!” Or taunt them by saying that why should only you, aka their family witness their love, they should rather go out on the street, let the world witness their love and come back home. But no anger at home means no anger.
Vibes: I’ve noticed one thing: The days when I do not purposefully radiate powerful vibes to my family are the days some things go haywire. Just like a pregnant woman is not allowed to get tensed because those vibes would affect the kid, similarly our vibes do travel to others, especially to those whom we are surrounded by. Try sitting in silence for a few minutes and send those vibes. Daily. Not on weekends and national holidays only.
Food: The food at holy places is typically more delicious, even though the recipe is the same as our homes. Why? Because that food has high energy, through high vibration words and only positivity surrounding that food. We can also do that, for example, whenever I cook I put on a good spiritual video that I enjoy, and the way it affects food is incredible. Yes, you have to do that to your parents’ food, through some jugads.
All these are practical, never thought of steps. But, if you take five minutes to work on one of them daily, the results will be miraculous. Everything works when we do. Isn’t it?
Btw, on a parting note, lemme share a real anecdote with you.
While I was returning from my spirituality class in the morning, a neigbourhood uncle bumped into me. As I smiled to him and kept walking, he said, “O, so you are the one who isn’t visible ever despite being at home? One is you, and the other is our son. Never visible.”
We all know the reason.
We all want to be seen.
We all want to be known that we are perfect despite our scratches, instead of a false hope of being scratchless forever.
Maybe today is a great day to start with one point from above that you can control. It is going to be difficult, but living in an abusive household isn’t easy either.
Don’t you think so?
Let me know in the reply/ comments what do you think.
PS: If you want more of such small and realistic solutions to life problems, do check out my eBook of “This is What YOU Are Looking For” that contains small chapters having lengths of two pages to give you what you are looking for.
Till Thursday, see you again with a story!
Stay strong, you can do it, and remember this is the New Year you have been waiting for :)