If something is not working out in your life
...please read this
Raw and Real Conversation
I have a loathe-hate (yes, you read that right) relationship with complains.
I have a soft corner for everyone in this world, but rarely for those who are married to their complains.
Complaining is a loser’s dream come true.
Here is why:
Who does not have problems in their lives?
Do you think people that are richer or have something that you don’t have it sorted out?
Do you really think Shah Rukh Khan is happy because he has a bungalow in Mannat and incomparable fame?
Yet, you meet most people and they are walking, talking, shocking examples of complaining in motion.
If nothing else, they complain about weather!
Dude, you are an adult. If you hate this weather, you have a choice to pack your bags and move to a different city. If you cannot move because of your family, job, etc., then what is the point of complaining?
Here is how complaining works:
We start citing what is not working in our lives
It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy
Over time, we unconsciously start using it as our truth
That truth starts defining our life (because we have accepted that as a truth)
The miserable cycle of helplessness continues forever.
Complaining robs us of our power and tricks us into believing we don’t have any.
And I am here to tell you that you have all the power in the world.
If you want to make a change in your career, use your energy and words to make a change in your career.
If you do not enjoy your relationship with your parents, use your time and words to see how you can make it better, or figure how you can peacefully move out on your own finances.
If a toxic friend has made you miserable, use your wisdom to understand what is happening, have a conversation with toxic friend, and use that conversation to decide further.
Complaining looks cool because it shows that someone else is responsible. A wonderful way to slouch on the couch and utter an ouch.
Taking responsibility looks heavy because it means you have to get up and get going.
But let me tell you my friend, a life free of complains looks so much more beautiful, because then you are literally designing your own world.
Even if hell breaks lose and there is an earthquake, you will still not complain about natural disaster and be grateful for the fact that your family is safe and your health is fine. Because aren’t they the most important things ever?
So, today I have a home work for you:
Stop complaining. Whatever it is. Just stop.
Does not mean you die with your miseries unexpected. You vent those miseries out in a journal. Or in a voice note to yourself. Or to the woods. Or to the body of water. Just let it all go, Imraan. (ZNMD :)
Make it a point to count at least 3 good things in your life right now. Even if nothing is working out, you are alive, your family is healthy, and you have the ability to think. Could you live without these?
Bonus: Please please please read the book “The Magic” by Rhonda Byrne. Please.
And if you can, take a printout of this: You are not going to run out of challenges. Challenges come only to those who are capable to take them on. Dance with them, instead of being daunted by them.
It takes practice, it takes some bit of awareness, but I believe you would not be reading till here if you were all in in making a bit of your life better.
You were not meant to wake up every day and complain about things you cannot change. You were not meant to ruin your good mood because someone else did not do what they were supposed to do. You were meant to live a full life my friend, and it all begins with what you do with what you have now. The power of now is the only power you have now.
And please, please pause to see, that what once used to be on your vision board is now in front of your vision. If that is not incredible, I don’t know what is.
At the end, I want to leave you with an example I used to give my mom (I don’t cite it very often since she has stopped complaining to a huge extent):
Imagine you and your neighbour have exactly the same problems. Same issues with relatives. Same issues with health. Same misery that doomed upon you. One fine day, a genie comes down on earth and decides to visit both of you. He could help only one of you. You are here, complaining, grunting, hating life. Your neighbour, on the other hand, is thankful for every little thing in her life working out. Even though she has the same life as you. Whom do you think the genie is going to help?
In the answer to that question, lie all your answers my friend.
2 Raw One-Liners:
If you continue speaking a lie to yourself, eventually it becomes a self-fulfilling truth.
You can be a soft, mellow, meek, introvert guy/gal and still build a strong business based on principles and systems. Alpha isn't always the answer.
Since today is a no-complain, gratitude-special post, here are 3 things I am really really grateful for:
My new car. My landlady asked me if I have fallen in love with my car yet, to which I replied positive. Her response: “It is very important to have that relationship with your car.”
Letting go of a toxic friendship. More on that later, but I guess more people knew how to let go of toxic friendships.
Emails from you all. To know something that is in my mind helps you make a change in your life is all life is all about. So, thank you <3
On that note, I’ll take off this time. See you next week.
(June might finally see my new book come up for you :))
Till then, stay raw, stay real, and never stop reading :)
Nishtha Gehija
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Instant access ebooks for your reading, and spend some time with yourself:
The Corporate Life Handbook: The book everyone working a corporate job needs :)
The Career Changing Guide: My bestseller so far :)
How to Deal with Heartbreak: Because, life happens :(
Every Writer Needs to Read this: I wish I had this one, when I was starting out as a writer
This is What You are Looking for (Paperback): Small Life Lessons for a Happier Life