What parents say versus what they mean

The subtle art of thinking for yourself

From 2015 to 2020, I had been in an Internal Audit role.

Which essentially meant that there was a lot of travel. I recently even wrote a blog post about how I have visited 36 cities so far, some of them multiple times.

Then in the pandemic, two things happened:
a. I quit my job right before lockdown began, to move into writing full-time.
b. I happened to live with my parents for several months, who haven’t travelled at all - just by choice.

So now whenever I plan a travel and I tell my parents about it, both of them come up with a lot of questions.

When will you go?
Send me the tickets.
Send me the contact numbers of concerned people.

Initially these words used to irk me. Dude, I have travelled a LOT, I am in my late twenties, you have no idea of my biggest problems of life, I must know how to navigate life! Isn’t it?

But recently I realised that it is pointless to change them, and keeping myself enthused and optimistic is only my responsibility. So I started digging for the good things, as to they do love me, then why are they talking about it?

Here’s a list of ten things that they meant when they ask me incessant questions:

  1. They want me to be safe.

  2. They want to make sure that I live in a comfortable environment.

  3. Travel for people like me is chasing uncertainty - these questions they ask is their way of having SOME certainty.

  4. I am in my room 22 hours of the day, for an hour I go to meditation class, half an hour for walk, and the rest half an hour outside of my room (working out, reading, and doing some work even :D) - they just want to make the best of that little time with them by striking a conversation with me.

  5. Everyone has underlying fears. They fear that if I will be dead whom will they contact in case of emergency (They said it, IDK how to respond :| )

  6. This is their way of being there for me.

  7. They want to, but still can’t trust fully. They are trying, a lot.

  8. They love me. Simple.

  9. I feel secluded at times. Perhaps they want me to know that I am not.

  10. It turns out, my parents did not have the freedom that I have now. By asking so many questions, maybe they get to have a glimpse of how freedom looks like :)

Trust me, it is easy for many of us to say that my parents are not like yours.
I get that.
I respect that.

But then what is the difference between them who compared us to “Sharma ji ka ladka” and we who compare them to someone else’s parents?

Shouldn’t we start with unconditional love?

Think about it.

Till this Thursday,
Nishtha
PS: This is what YOU Are Looking For