Why is love so hard?
Does it need to be?
Raw and Real Conversation
We are all driven by love. Or lack of it.
People cross mountains for love. Or get depressed by the lack of it.
We feel fulfilled when we feel the presence of love. And devastated when we lack it despite having everything.
Love is the ultimate human need emotion.
It is love that made our moms love us infinitely despite going through the difficult process of childbirth. And I do not think there is any love that could surpass a mother’s love.
This does not mean that you would always share a beautiful relationship with your mother. A lot of us don’t.
But I also believe being a mother is not just being a biological mother or a mother who goes for adoption, but someone who has care as a way of life:
Asking your colleagues before an afternoon meeting if they’ve had lunch.
Loving people we work with, despite their quirks.
Truly rooting for them to succeed.
It isn't that difficult, just that we have been so accustomed to running like rats that we never thought we could love like a Mom.
Even the GenZ slang of "mother" means someone who is iconic, influential, and commands respect.
So, why do people think love is so hard? Why can’t we love like our mothers?
Because:
If we are nice and they don’t reciprocate, we believe they tend to walk over us.
We are often lost in our own problems that we do not care about giving love to others.
Most importantly: We have never fallen in love with our own selves, so loving others is alien.
So, what do we do, my friend, to have the love of a mother, and receive it always?
Love yourself.
This is not about treating yourself to a shiny meal at One8, going to play golf, and getting a recliner seat for a movie theatre. Luxury is different from love.
Love means showing up for yourself every single day, no matter what.
You might not have expected it, but this is how you love yourself:
Meditate
Journal
Exercise
Read
Pursue a hobby without posting about it online or converting it into a full-time thing.
If you find any person who does one or more of the above on a daily basis and keeps getting better at it, I can guarantee you they are filled with love.
They may or may not express it, but for sure they are not looking for it in external sources. They are rooted within.
The world we live in, the love we look for, the joy we strive for—all of these are very simple things, my friend. But complex statements like “AI will change the world” but no one knows how, have stopped us from getting back to basics.
It is like parenting. For me luxury was going to an English medium CBSE school, for today’s kid luxury is going to an AC International Board school. However, whether it’s me or today’s kid—we both need love to thrive. The trees may change, the roots remain the same.
May we always find roots of our love in our rituals.
So that when we get out into the world, we love like our mother instead of longing for our mother’s love.
We are all made up of love.
We just need to show up for ourselves daily, to see it.
2 Raw One-Liners:
A genuine person never puts others down. Ever.
Some of us need a spotlight to shine, some of us need a spot where there is no light shining on us.
3 Real Gratitudes:
Went to my parents’ home last week and spent some time looking at the lake outside a park. Does anything in life get better than this?
Prepared chocolate cake and promised myself: “I’ll eat very little of this.” Kept that promise and did not get driven away :))
I opened Facebook one day and saw it was an old friend’s birthday that day. Wanted to wish them, but over the years they disappeared multiple times. So I decided to send them a wish in my heart, while I maintained the distance in words. I’m glad I could get around to drawing that boundary for myself.
That is it my friend.
Have a great weekend. I’ll see you next week.
Till then, stay raw, stay real, and never stop reading.
Nishtha Gehija
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Instant access ebooks for your reading, and spend some time with yourself:
The Corporate Life Handbook: The book everyone working a corporate job needs :)
The Career Changing Guide: My bestseller so far :)
How to Deal with Heartbreak: Because, life happens :(
Every Writer Needs to Read this: I wish I had this one, when I was starting out as a writer
This is What You are Looking for (Paperback): Small Life Lessons for a Happier Life